We are younger now than we were before.

I want steak.

I want sleep.

I want to know why the spacebar isn't working here.

Where would I be now? If I didn't have the influence of having been told to be a doctor from the age of -2, would I even be here? Or would I be a classicist, living in Oxford, translating old texts for the mediocrity of mankind. Would I be a chef, running a little diner where 75% of the menu comes with gravy. Would I be an opera singer, struggling to prove my worth and my sad lack of perfect pitch. Would I be a yoga instructor and physical trainer, doing fitness competitions and being centered and at peace.

Hang on to your hats, folks. We may actually find out. 30 is the new 18.

If you have no voice, scream

This is a particularly stressful time in my life. I don't have a guaranteed position for next year, and I hate the hospital I am currently working at for 5 months straight.

I am very apprehensive about the future. Not because things may not go right and I may not be happy. I am with Jonny, I will always be happy, and there are so many things that bring me joy I am certain I would be content. But it may not be a residency position next year, and regardless, it will mean a move to another city, again.

I also have my yearly exam, the outcome of which will dictate the likelihood of said job next year.  So, until January 29th, please send me your love.

I need some yoga, a hot bath, and a Tony's Organic Market cookie. 

You speak Poltergeist but so do I

To my friends. I have realized I'm a bit lonely up here and I've been thinking alot about the high quality of my friends. So to you guys, I miss you.

Denise - I was always certain that if I had a sister I would hate her, but you have proven me wrong.

Cathy - If I were to spend the rest of my life with one person, it would be you.

Jordan - we will always belong to each other.

Terra - you gave me the opportunity to have kids

Jamie - I fell for you so hard.

Jhosh - I'm glad we're best friends again.

Love you

Distilling your time

I work about 100 hours a week. That mean that I have 1-3 hours a day to myself and my huzzy.  Therefore I have been thinking alot lately about distilling my time.  What this means to me is that I experience each and every moment to its fullest. I really luxuriate in every joy that comes my way, b/c I know that each is precious.

"I have this theory that if we're told we're bad
Then that's the only idea we'll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
'Cause anyone can start a conflict
it's harder yet to disregard it
I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way " 

- I'm Sensitive, Jewel

Oh yeah, my tattoo

Harden the fcuk up

I have always been excellent at following directions. And I have been able to turn my emotions off at will, in pure sociopath form. How else did I manage to never date or have feelings for a man until my lovely husband?

 I never considered that this may be a tool to cultivate. I have been thinking a lot lately about the futility and soul-energy wasting effects of negative emotions - anger, fear, frustration, irritation, depression, shame. I have been focusing on turning these off. Do not get me wrong, I still feel them. I just allow them to pass through me, recognize and acknowledge them, then let them go like a feather on the wind.

I no longer have time for things that do not inspire me.


"To see the truth with clarity, and to search for a better answer."

Life Springs Anew

What am I doing here? Everyone knows I am terrible at these. Yet I find myself starting a new one, likely because I am obsessed with being as cool as Denise.

Being a 28 year old with a solid job course who is suddenly questioning her future entirely is a tiring sort of mid-life crisis. Aren't I a little bit old for this?

So now, here are some tattoos I'm thinking of getting...because yeah, that'll help the life-altering decisions